Courage

Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. – (Psalm 37:24)

Even though we know that falling is a possibility we cant be so afraid of falling that we do not try at all. for we will stumble upon situations because we love the lord and our love for the lord has a cost and it is because of that love that the devil is always working and plotting against us. Hints us stumbling… But the verse goes on to say that they will never fall….. and the question i had while reading this is: Sometimes i fall short in situations but i never stay there i get back up, So why is it they will never fall? the verse goes on to say for the lord holds them by hand… so then my next question is if the lord is holding them by hand and they never fall when they stumble am i falling because i let go of his hand when i stumble  through situations?? i think for me the answer to this question is sometimes we have courage and we aren’t afraid because we have faith that the lord will see us through; but there are those times when we doubt the lord and all that he is capable of doing. We cant be so afraid that we give satan more power over what the lord is more powerful in doing. For satan will never over reign the lord he will always be the underdog it is only when we give him power that he seems to be more. im not saying do give him credit for what he can do but if you hold on to the hand of God you will not have to worry about falling

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Strength & Encouragement

I Corinthians 16:13

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong

 

in reading this devotional for today it left me with a great blessing in knowing that satan is constantly on the move and we have to be on the look for him and the temptations that will come. We have to have have strength to over come all the trials we will go through and through faith and courage God will give us the will to keep moving millions didn’t make it and we have to be apart of the ones that make it 

So It Begins

now that im back the situation here really has me on my toes. skeptical. but we have a plan and i hope that we live sleep and dream about this plan until it has been accomplished. the outside appears to be nice right now and you cant really be mean to someone that is being nice to you but i must say i really didnt want to be all lovey dovey with her i didnt want to talk and have conversations and her to come in my room and try and bond i just wanted to do what i set out to do from the moment i got on the plane i dont want to hear the nagging about your son not cleaning his room or the music is to loud or your talking to loud the tv is loud who left the dishes in the sink we need some toilet paper you guys need to pay a bill its just not what i want to hear from here if you havent figured it out i am referring to my mother who is never happy never satisfied always poking her lip out throwing a fit the woman whom i felt i have always been a tad bit more mature than. is it rude to not like your mother is it wrong to feel like she always has a secrete motive or doesnt do things from her heart but just so that she can say she did it for you ugh someone must have a mother like i have right?? i cant possibly be the only one 

Home Sweet Home?????

so im back in the home where i was 8 months ago…the story goes my mother decided to move her and her wife and my brother and sister to Florida and although me and my mother dont always see eye to eye i decided that there was nothing really for me left in my home town so i quit my job left my home and moved 22 hours away to florida where i must add we have no prior family living at all. and for awhile things were ok atleast it appeared that way it wasnt until she had milked me dry of all my money that i realized i was in a sticky situation long story short she kicked me out i went back to my home town to stay but i realized there really wasnt anything for me there to progress  my future so me and my sister made a plan a pretty solid plan i might add to go to school and move together as we once always wanted to do…well im back…….

 

i knew the situation would be weird just because of everything that went down but i didnt realized that i would be completely erased from the home i once lived in no clothes no diploma no pictures nothing to remember me as once a resident of this home in fact my mommy dearest used my room as a storage for towels and the ironing bored and turned it into her little office now i couldnt expect anything more of her thats just how she is but my heart is just not in a place for bitterness or revenge but it does make sad im not going to lie well in this next few months as we wait to move into our own place i will be blogging like crazy to vent so that i dont say verbally out loud what i really am thinking in my head 😦 so bare with me 

They only come when they need something……

i’ve noticed the people i have in my life have only started to come around when they need something for me rather it be advice “oh such and such is mad at me” or they need my help with something “hey can you be a usher at my wedding”–you didnt even invite me to your wedding shower really?? here one i get all the time “i need help with my school stuff” and at first i didnt mind helping i am a very nurturing mothering character its just how i am.. i always make myself available to listen to those who just need someone to listen friend coworker family whom ever and i’ve been like this since the day i could understand lending a shoulder to cry on and logic of how people are… everyone always comes to me for advice i have no problem it makes me feel loved when we talk on a regular basis but if our friendship has come and kinda parted its ways i dont like to be contacted just when you need something its rude i started thinking to myself maybe i brought this on myself i allowed them to come to me every time they needed something and i was always the first they called

 

 

  

the time is coming

the time is almost here i will be leaving this dreadful place i am so excited to get out of this town some people love it here and don’t want to venture out but me on the other hand i don’t want to be restricted or held down in to one place i want to explore the world and view all my options with going to school for nursing i dont have to be subjected to staying in my hometown i try and get people to understand that since i was little girl i always wanted to travel so good by town and family members i rarely talk to here and there good bye ol friends we gone our separate ways  its been great but dont be surprised to see me be excited to go imma miss you but i cant wait to depart

 

5 days i tell you!!!!

Akwardness

So for the last couple of days i have been walking around this house with just weird suspicious things going on. like for example:

1. the other day i woke up to whispers… ok she must of thought i was still sleeping because conversations about me were going on over the phone with my dad
2. alot of unnecessary questions being asked like they have just been snooping
3. we have not said much to each other in the last few day…conversations consist of hi good morning you need help things of that nature

i know its wrong to listen in on peoples conversations but i feel like they are up to no good i want to ask a couple of questions without causing a argument but i dont know how(i have a temper so it just would be a simple thing to do)

 

now originally the plans that i had were sound proof they were in action i intended on moving away this month to attend school in memphis but surprisingly my mother made a suggestion that me and my sister try and find a place in miami and i apply for nursing school there sooo on my mind i had memphis or miami……..hello i chose miami 

 

PROBLEM:::::: the problem with this is that some of my family members are very judgmental and when i told them i wanted to go to school in another state that i didnt like the city i was currently in (my hometown) they told me i shoulda stayed where i was prior to moving back which i might add was not by choice. the question why i would want to go to school so far away they were negative and they put me down…..now why would i want tell them my new current plan they already dont like my mother as is ugh they would bad mouth me all the way to the airport and while im gone i just cant deal sooo did i kinda lie yes but i think that i had good reason to…… but i dont like the snooping they are doing its rude im not 12 im 22 im a adult!!!!

when the tough gets tougher

friendship is a great things when times are good but when things get rough it test the waters on if friendships are true the best saying i ever heard is that somethings are in your life for just a season and then they go it took me a long time to learn this lesson i am a person that loves hard and i dont like to let things go even when i know its time i’ll try and make it work…. but in this half of year i have been through a lot i hit my bottom and while falling to my bottom i noticed not one person reached out to stop me from falling not one person so in saying all that i feel when the tough gets tougher you really see who you have and how strong you really are when the tough gets tougher because sometimes when you want to depend on people you only have yourself and at first i was sad about it and then i was mad but then after praying i realized there’s a calm after that the storm and as long as i made it through ok i could smile and be happy again because as the saying goes sometimes you go through the valley but come up the mountain alone so i realized its ok to let go and move forward with life

Sisterhood

i have the best sister in the world she listens to my everlasting craziness. She deals with my moodiness. She brings out the fun child i never got to be growing up with all younger brothers i had to take care of. See me im a serious person smiling only sometimes stepping out unto the wild side when no eyes were looking she taught me to not care about what others thought even though she gets on my nerves every 10.5 seconds she is the only sibling i like most of the time and if you havent noticed i have a count down on my page that is a count down til we move to take over Florida. sometimes we have rough patches we are both stubborn and hard headed we beat to our own drum and answer to no one well she’s a mama’s girl so she answer to her mommy lol and we both are women of God and answer to him always… recently i spilled the beans on something that i shouldnt have not intentionally but accidental but still i want her to know she can count on me always and she can trust me forever not someone she has to hold back from with all my friendships i try to remain as loyal and trusting and caring as possible so i hope she knows it 

Tune into the thoughts of…

Tune into the thoughts of others, Cancer. Focusing only on yourself means you’re missing the beauty and wisdom that come from other people. Respect their opinions the way you want them to respect yours. Your ego might get in the way of your brain until you embrace the lesson of sensitivity that it’s trying to teach you. Take a back seat and let someone else do the talking.

my daily cancer horoscope::this really applies to me i believe i blogged about others opinions guess that means i need to work on it